Tag: comedy

What If Unicorns Were Real And One Was Like Francisco?

What if a unicorn just walked into a wall…and got stuck there. Forever. Do you ever think about that?

Like, I know unicorns aren’t real. But what if they were?

That means that they must have been evading us pretty darn effectively for thousands of years. So if they did exist, they’d have to be extremely brilliant, magical, and elusive creatures that have totally outsmarted us dumb humans.

So what if they did exist and there was one unicorn that was really, really stupid. And one day it just…walked into a wall. And got stuck there. And ruined it for all the other unicorns. Because a person found it and that’s how people found out that unicorns were actually real.

All the other unicorns would be like, “Francisco! What are you doing?! You’re freaking magical! We’ve been avoiding walls for thousands of years, Francisco! All you had to do was NOT walk into a wall. That was literally your only job…You can fly. And you don’t even have wings! How have you not mastered avoiding the wall?”

Well, I think about that a lot.

So, if you ever see a horse with its head against a wall like this:

Screen Shot 2015-12-16 at 4.25.41 PM

You better give that horse a little tug. You better give him a little tug, tug, tuggie-poo. And you better make sure your name isn’t Sir Charles Darwin, because you might have just discovered Kevin.

 

The feature image was found at steynian.wordpress.com.

The Art Of Interviewing: Why It Finally Worked Out For Marc Maron

I’ve listened to enough WTF Podcast episodes to have finally realized, “You know, what? Marc Maron is actually pretty good at this.” A previous coolstuffs I wrote about a Marc Maron article inspired me to go more in depth into what makes him so good at what he does.

Continue reading “The Art Of Interviewing: Why It Finally Worked Out For Marc Maron” →

Reggie Watts’ Why Shit So Crazy Is Great

Do you like funny music? Have you heard of Reggie Watts? He might be my favorite musical comedian because of his ridiculous, fresh approach to comedy.

If you’ve never seen him before, you need to see his Netflix special, Why Shit So Crazy. He uses a looping machine to beatbox entire songs of himself singing and playing on the keyboard. It’s a lot of “whoa, that’s awesome” moments mixed with “what the fuck is he doing, this is hilarious” moments. It isn’t just music that’s special, though. He starts out the set by just rambling on stage pretty incoherently for a while, saying “crazy shit” that doesn’t really make much sense until people start to laugh at it. Was “incoherent” and “doesn’t really make sense” redundant? Well now it certainly is.

One of my favorite parts in the special is where he fumbles around with his microphone for several minutes straight. You can find the video on YouTube currently, although who knows how long those videos will last.

Women In Comedy: A Documentary

Usually, I’m not a huge fan of separating men and women comedians. And that’s why I actually really enjoyed this documentary. Usually, the point of a documentary like this would be to go: “Oh wow, look how much of a path woman have blazed for other women in comedy.” But this documentary isn’t like that.

Yes, it’s all about women comedians and what they’ve accomplished in comedy. But what I enjoyed about it the most is the ending. The documentary gradually moves towards saying something to the effect of: “There is no difference between men and women in comedy anymore.” Which, I think, is really healthy. Sure, there are still some slight differences between men and women in comedy today, as there are always bound to be. But, those differences just aren’t worth bringing up anymore for the sake of moving past them. And that’s pretty much the consensus among every woman who is interviewed in the documentary.

Sarah Silverman, one of the last to share her two cents at the end, pretty much sums it up.

“The last relic of it being hard for women in comedy is the question – is the question: ‘What’s it like being a woman in a man’s world?’ And you go, ‘Oh, that question is the last thing left of it, because women run comedy.'”

The documentary was produced by Makers and you can watch it here. Sorry, I can’t find a way to embed it here because they used some weird format – probably precisely for that reason.

 

If you found this interesting, you can read more about my thoughts on women in comedy here.

Bill Burr Quote

A comedian friend posted this on Facebook saying that he’d seen it a few times before, but that looking at his bank account balance while sleeping on the couch made him remember it.

Here’s why I’m not a sad computer programmer, for instance:

Realize that sleeping on a futon when you’re 30 is not the worst thing. You know what’s worse, sleeping in a king bed next to a wife you’re not really in love with but for some reason you married, and you got a couple kids, and a job you hate. You’ll be laying there fantasizing about sleeping on a futon. There’s no risk when you go after a dream. There’s a tremendous amount of risk to playing it safe.

The Comedy Nerds Is A Thing I Like

I just found this website called The Comedy Nerds and it’s a pretty darn cool little site dedicated to all different types of comedy. That’s right: stand up, sketch, improv – you name it. Seriously, name it. Okay, fine. Don’t.

So The Comedy Nerds has thousands of podcast episodes talking about everything comedy. On cool topics like “Were the 80’s the golden age of comedy movies?” I feel like I’ll spend a lot of time exploring the site.

If you haven’t noticed, I’ve added a “Things I Like” page to the site. Pretty self-explanatory. These are really just a bunch of links to things I like in the comedy world. Mostly great websites and stuff for people who are interested in comedy. Like, comedy nerds. This one’s been added to the list!

How To Look Like A Serial Killer

My room used to be all white with totally white walls, all white furniture, and white bed sheets. And I just recently realized that that is not normal.

So I called up my friend on the phone who is a photographer and I said, “Hey, why don’t you send me a picture so that I can put it up on my wall.”

So he sends me the picture, and I open it up and see that what he sent me is this giant print of…what looks like an empty, white room.

The only thing creepier than having a totally white room with all white walls and white furniture is having a totally white room with all white walls and white furniture, where the only thing on the wall is a picture of an empty white room.

Trying to seem less serial-killer-y, I decided to pin up my comedy notecards on the wall, too. Not that weird, right? After organizing them, I realized that all of the notecards are white as well. And they have the names of all my jokes on them. And the more you look, the weirder they sound, especially because you’d have no way of knowing why I wrote the phrases on these notecards without asking me.

“Make someone care about you?”

“Shower Ritual”

“Bill Cosby Cover”

“I think State Farm is there”

Normal people do not write these things on their wall.

I also acquired a new mattress. Not knowing what to do with my old one, I shoved it against the inner wall of my closet, thinking “Oh wow, I bet this would totally sound-proof the closet.”

Stop! Stop being a serial killer! How does being boring make me so creepy?! An all white room, one artsy photo, joke notecards, and a mattress are just boring things!

Maybe I should just embrace my inner serial killer and buy some tarps and an axe in preparation for my American Psycho-esque meltdown. The only problem is that I have no idea where they would sell axes in New York City.

You know, it really doesn’t make sense how having a really white room makes you seem crazy. It would just be way harder to clean when you do axe-murder someone. Just saying.

 

Sometimes when I don’t want to use a silly photo I found on the interwebs, I use my own pictures of NYC venues as a feature image. Greenwich Village Comedy club is in the heart of the West Village on Macdougal Street, just down the street from the Comedy Cellar. It’s where I’ve had my worst set: a grueling five minutes of complete silence. So it holds a special place in my heart. 

Why Don’t People Think Women Are Funny?

I was at a small comedy show recently where a panel of eight or so comedians discussed who they thought would be on the “Mount Rushmore of Comedy.” I listened as all the comics listed their top four comics of all time and only one woman, Maria Bamford, was listed. And she was picked by the host, who went last, who might have thought “Hey, maybe I should throw a woman in there.” (and I only say that because everyone vehemently disagreed with Bamford’s right to be on the Mountain) That’s 8×4=24+ “best comedians of all time” listed and only one female comic came up. Isn’t that weird?

Continue reading “Why Don’t People Think Women Are Funny?” →

When To Quit Comedy

I came across this depressing piece a few days ago: Saying When: When is the right time to walk away from the comedy dream?. It’s a really long piece detailing when you should probably give up on comedy and do something real with your life. What fun!

Why would I want to read something like this? Well, for one, it’s good to know what to avoid. I think I’ve gotten loads better just seeing other comics do badly (not to be mean) and thinking “well I know why that didn’t work.” It’s almost as useful to see what doesn’t work as it is to see what does work and you see a lot of things not working at open mics, that’s for sure.

And for two, comics just like to talk about sad things like failing. Marc Maron has all but made a career out of it.

Positive things I took away:

  • do things your own way
  • don’t compare to others
  • keep creating

See? It’s not all sad.

Contagious Laughter

Have you ever been with a bunch of friends when one of them starts to laugh? And then she keeps laughing and laughing…and laughing. Until someone else begins to laugh at how ridiculous she is…and then suddenly everyone is starting to laugh uncontrollably?

Well that’s what happened in Tanzania in 1962, but it wasn’t just a group of friends. It was entire towns. And it didn’t stop for several months. I’m serious.

You might have heard about the Tanganyika Laughter Epidemic (yes, epidemic) before, but you might not know that outbreaks of “mass hysteria” still happen there today. In fact, Radiolab did a story on contagious laughter that detailed another more recent outbreak, where one girl was actually hospitalized and repeatedly administered Valium until she finally stopped laughing when she woke up.

I first heard about contagious laughter when I was doing humor research on puns and I was like “No wayy – that’s impossible.” But, It’ real! Check it out.

I think it’s a fascinating concept and it kind of explains why stand up comedy works. If you ever ask a comic to tell you a joke one-on-one, he probably won’t do it. Why? Well, no one says, “Oh, you’re a dentist?! Pull out someone’s tooth right here at this dinner party!” Also, it’s just different performing to one person than it is performing to a crowd. Have you ever had a creepy girlfriend or boyfriend who sang love ballads to you one-on-one? It’s awkward! It’s like singing a love ballad, but with humor. Which sounds funny, but in person not so much.

Besides that, it’s just too risky. Telling a joke one-on-one, anything can happen. But I’ll tell you what usually happens: nothing. People just stand there and don’t say anything. Or worse, they say, “That was funny.” Rarely do they actually laugh, even if it’s your best joke that kills every time on stage.

Why? Well, there’s no other people around to laugh at the thing together! I think contagious laughter definitely comes into play when you’re doing a set for a crowd. And, the very best crowds are the ones who are laughing uncontrollably…one might say “bordering on mass hysteria.” Maybe I just need to play some venues in Tanzania and then I’ll be really funny.