Spooky Creepy Joke for Halloween

I want to start out by saying that this is a pro-environment joke, just FYI. So keep that in mind. It’s important.

One time I was on a road trip with my friend Jerry deep in woods of northern California. We were driving on a small two-lane road late at night and our car broke down.

We pulled over to the side of the road and we didn’t know what to do. There was nothing within sight. No towns within dozens of miles. Complete darkness.

Continue reading “Spooky Creepy Joke for Halloween”

Jerry Seinfeld on Halloween

Happy Halloween!

I’ve gotta go with sharing some classic Halloween material from Seinfeld today. I had a “Jerry Seinfeld Halloween” book when I was a kid that was based on these jokes. You might have heard the jokes a million times before, as is how Seinfeld operates, but the jokes are still classics…

Shits & Giggles

Sometimes I go to the bathroom just for shits and giggles.

One time I was in a bathroom and I walked up to a urinal and I looked down and the urinal was off to the left. And I thought, “This urinal is wrong.”

And then I thought, “No wait Stu, maybe you’re wrong. Maybe this urinal is perfectly placed for someone whose phallus is slightly to the left.”

And then I thought, “Maybe you’re being insensitive because you have a perfectly centered phallus. And now you’re just being cocky.”

And then a guy walked up to the urinal next to me and said, “Are you okay? You’ve been standing there for two whole minutes.”

The Comic Who Amy Schumer “Stole From”

A lot of people who aren’t as knowledgeable about comedy today – especially the younger audiences – have never heard of Patrice O’Neal because he died young in 2011, at which time he hadn’t produced a ton of material. But comics pretty much all know and love his work. And I’m one of his fans.

He recently came up in the news for being the original source of a joke that Amy Schumer allegedly stole…which comics think is ridiculous.

Know Patrice for what he should be known for: good comedy. Check out his special Elephant in the Room.


Christmas Trees

Do you think Christmas trees know that they’re Christmas trees or one day a lumberjack just walks up to them and goes, “You’re going to die. For Jesus.”

And the tree is like, “What? But I had no previous religious affiliation heretofore!”

And the lumberjack is like, “Well, henceforth you do. Also, it’s the sixteenth century. That’s why we’re talking like this.”

It would suck to be a Christmas tree. You just live your whole life in Wisconsin with all your friends and then you die. All of you. At the same time.

And then you end up in someone’s living room and you’re like “What’s going on? I can’t feel my legs! How am I standing up right now?”

And then someone is just like, “Shhhhhhhhh…I’m gonna put Christmas lights on you. Trust me, it makes sense.”

And then you’re like, “But it’s the sixteenth century…Christmas lights haven’t been invented yet.”

Jim Gaffigan’s Show on TV Land is Great

If there’s anyone who deserves his own show it’s Jim Gaffigan. He’s been around forever and he’s such a big and well-liked name. Finally, he’s got one. And although it isn’t 100% about Hot Pockets, it’s pretty much what you would expect: a funny take on family life with a lot of food sprinkled in. Sprinkled in pretty much everywhere.

The show is actually super easy to find online since it’s on TV Land, a primarily online network. I didn’t know that TV Land existed until now, but it seems like a really cool space with a few different interesting-looking comedies.

As far as the Gaffigan Show episodes go, they are all pretty darn well written. They’re probably funniest to an older “I am a parent” audience, but I’m young and I still think they’re great. One thing to mention is that the show addresses comedy (Jim plays a comedian) but there’s no actual stand up in the show. I think it’s a cool balance between TV and stand up, since most comics who do a show either tend to one extreme or another in terms of incorporating stand up comedy.

It looks like they’ve taken away some of the episodes on the website, but you can still get a taste for the show! Below is a little clip.

Comedian Wins Guatemalan Presidential Election

Look, I’m no fan of politics. But I am a fan of comedy. Which is why I think it’s pretty cool that a former television comic, Jimmy Morales, won the national election in Guatemala. Apparently he didn’t just win; it was a landslide.

It is interesting because comics are often known for their social and political commentary. And they can be really brilliant people who are efficient communicators. So in a way it kind of makes sense that they could be elected to government positions.

I’m reminded of senator Al Franken, who I really know nothing about (was on SNL before my time), but I remember being a big deal when he was elected.

Anyways, here’s an article about the election. I think I found this on r/nottheonion on reddit. I really wanted to find some of Morales’s material on video but I couldn’t find anything. I guess that could have been expected.

Tim & Eric & A Super Bowl Commercial

You might have heard of Adult Swim comedy duo Tim & Eric and you might have seen Loctite’s crazy popular Super Bowl XL commercial Positive Feelings (where middle-aged people dance around awkwardly with fanny packs, singing along to a song about glue). But you might not know that Tim & Eric had anything to do with the TV spot.

The advertising agency that launched the ad, Fallon, hired Tim & Eric to direct the shooting of the commercial, as they wanted a weird, goofy feel that would catch the eye. They certainly achieved that; it’s one of the most memorable spots of the year.

I loved the commercial. And I only recently found out that a couple of comics had anything to do with the production, which makes me wonder why more comics aren’t sought out for consultation in advertising.

You can read more about the commercial here.

Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, Ricky Gervais, and Louis CK Talk Comedy

Here’s a fifty-minute round table conversation about comedy between some of the best stand up comics of today. I’ve listened to this video several times over. It’s always fascinating to hear different perspectives on the nuances of comedy, from how jokes are written to how comedy compares to other art forms to whether sound checks are worth it. Apparently this happened on HBO and the segment is called Talking Funny, but I don’t know much more about it than that.

Master Class in Crowd Work

Todd Barry is a touring, headlining comic who most people know as “that comic guy from Louie.” He has a very flat, deadpan delivery but he does it better than most people I’ve heard. He sounds super sarcastic and a little like me but even drier, so maybe that’s partly why I like him.

His delivery is what makes his crowd work so impressive to me. With such a flat delivery it forces the conversation to be funny because of what Barry says and discovers. The crowd work really has content. Barry isn’t just being silly on stage, he’s quick and intuitive.

Speaking of Louie, Louis CK actually released Todd Barry: The Crowd Work Tour on his website for $5. You can also find it on Netflix. Or, I found it on YouTube as well. I’ll link that below, but who knows when it will disappear! Whoever uploaded the video to YouTube also put “Best Comedian Ever” in the title of the video, so take that as you will.