Category: Quotes

Crowdsourced Tips From Podcasting

As I’m getting ready to launch a podcast with my comedy friend Matt (who also happens to be my roommate), I’ve been trying to find out more about what it takes to make a good podcast.

I just found this list of comedy tips that a comic named Simon Caine has compiled on his website from all his podcasting. He podcasted for a full year (34 episodes) and compiled all the best advice he got from each episode. The best thing is that his guests are people “from the industry,” so they kind of know what they’re talking about. Haven’t had a chance to actually listen to his podcast yet, but the tips are super helpful, and I think the podcast idea is really terrific. Just asking people questions about how comedy works can get you to a much better level of understanding.

Some of the episode topics look fascinating and I’m excited to give the episodes a listen!

 

Glibert Gottfried Quote on P.C.

A comedian friend posted this quote on Facebook. I couldn’t find the source, so who knows if Gottfried actually said it. Either way, I think the quote is pretty funny.

“I think standup comedy these days should come with instructions for people that’s all…if u think it’s funny laugh, if u don’t don’t laugh.” – Gilbert Gottfried

80 Woody Allen Quotes Because He’s 80 Now Someone Says

Woody Allen turned 80 on December first, so The Laugh Button compiled a list of his top 80 quotes. There were two realizations I made from reading all of these quotes: 1) humor changes over time and 2) Woody Allen has made a ton of jokes about sex.

What I mean about humor changing is that these quotes might be seen as more “clever” than laugh out loud funny. At least that’s how I see them. Most of the quotes here are from Woody Allen movies, but a few are from his stand up. I have a few of his stand up records and I think they’re better told than read.

What I mean about lots of sex jokes is…well, just look at the article.

Here’s a quote I liked:

“I thought of that old joke: This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, ‘Doc, my brother’s crazy, he thinks he’s a chicken.’ And the doctor says, ‘Well why don’t you turn him in?’ and the guy says, ‘I would, but I need the eggs.’ Well, I guess that’s pretty much now how I feel about relationships. They’re totally irrational and crazy and absurd, but I guess we keep going through it because most of us need the eggs.” – from Annie Hall

Bill Burr Quote

A comedian friend posted this on Facebook saying that he’d seen it a few times before, but that looking at his bank account balance while sleeping on the couch made him remember it.

Here’s why I’m not a sad computer programmer, for instance:

Realize that sleeping on a futon when you’re 30 is not the worst thing. You know what’s worse, sleeping in a king bed next to a wife you’re not really in love with but for some reason you married, and you got a couple kids, and a job you hate. You’ll be laying there fantasizing about sleeping on a futon. There’s no risk when you go after a dream. There’s a tremendous amount of risk to playing it safe.

Doug Stanhope on Giving Advice

Doug Stanhope is a comic whose style I don’t particularly like, but one who I really respect. Someone on reddit posted this great quote of his about why comics shouldn’t give advice to other less experienced comics. The redditor who posted it said they found it on his blog.

“I was once in my early years of comedy and semi-popular in the ranks of the open mics in Phoenix when a comic higher-up in the ranks – Joey Scazzola – caught me giving advice to a new guy.

He said ‘Never give anyone advice because you’re only telling them how to be more like you.’ Every time I’ve erred and given someone advice, I remembered that.

If you want advice, you most likely just want someone to reassure you of what you already know. If they tell you otherwise, you’ll either discount it or you’ll take their advice and no longer be following the instincts that got you in this to begin with. So either way, you didn’t need the advice.”