Yesterday’s Weather 1/19/16

You just got back into town from a long business trip. And you’re like, “Hey! No one is talking about what the weather was like yesterday! I wonder what I missed! Even if it was a pretty regular day I’d just like to know about it, you know? Just to ease my mind. Like, the weather channel only ever talks about the weather for today and the future! Unless there was an avalanche or Sharknado yesterday, no one is ever chatting about yesterday! I wanna know about the past, man! I wanna know what I missed!” You talk to yourself a lot.

Or, maybe you’re just forgetful.

Either way, my new segment, Yesterday’s Weather, is a perfect fit for you. I’m no meteorologist, but you will find out whatever yesterday’s weather was like wherever I was. The weather channel is always wrong. Get ready for the only weather report that’s 100% guaranteed…it’s time for Yesterday’s Weather.

Yesterday: 1/18/16 – New York City, USA

First of all, I want to clarify that the name of this post. It’s entitled Yesterday’s Weather 1/19/16. 1/19/16 is today, which makes yesterday 1/18/16. 1/18/16 is the date’s weather to which I will be referring. The name of this post is just a naming convention for which day it was posted.

See, if I had called it Yesterday’s Weather 1/18/16, you’d all be like, “Wait, so does that mean he’s talking about 1/17/16, the day of the first significant snowfall of the New York City winter 2015/16? No, he is not. He doesn’t care about that. He is talking about 1/18/16 and 1/18/16 only. To clarify, yesterday, 1/18/16, the weather of which I am discussing, was this past Monday. It is Tuesday today.

Yesterday it was pretty cold out, but not as cold as the day before. Sunday was really damn cold. In the morning it was totally fine out (and arguably even pleasant). But, by nightfall it started snowing and it was horrible. I was shivering and icy wetness came from the sky. It was pretty though.

Sorry, I’m getting sidetracked. Let’s talk about Monday – yesterday – the day in question.

Monday 1/18/16 was a fairly pleasant day. One thing I really thought was nice about it was that the sun was out very much and there were hardly any clouds in the sky. I looked at the sky and thought, “This is a nice sky. New York City looks pretty in this light.” I’m talking about the daytime, 1/18/16, of course – not the night. The sun went down at night and after that it was not sunny even a little bit.

Exhibit A: weather

The almanac said the sun would set at 4:56 PM EST (in the West). However, using my own judgment, I’d say it was something more like 5:03 PM EST. But, who’s to say? I feel like the official time of a sunset is really kind of debatable.

Person A: “Has the sun set?”

Person B: “Well, is it still light out?”

Person A: “Yes.”

Person B: “Then no.”

Person A: “But you can’t see the sun anymore.”

Person B: “Then yes.”

Person A: “But it doesn’t even look pretty yet.”

Person B: “Then no.”

Confession: I am Person B and sunsets confuse me. Inordinately. Why? Because it gets dark slowly – it isn’t some sudden thing. Like a second ago it was light out and now it’s dark? No. It’s a process. It’s like sexuality: it’s a spectrum. We’re trying to put labels on “daytime” and “nighttime” when really it’s just “time.” All times are special in their own way. It’s time we come together as a society and stop such offensive labeling. Except for 3PM. Everyone knows 3PM is totally gay.

Some other notes about 1/18/16: It didn’t rain. It didn’t hail. It didn’t sleet. It didn’t snow. It was a little windy though. Hey hey, that’s a rhyme! I do it all the…never mind I don’t.

One last thing to explain about 1/18/16…when the night-time came it did get colder than it was before, during the day. That’s actually pretty common. When the sun goes down, it kind of brings its heat with it. The sun is, like, super hot. Like imagine something that’s really, REALLY hot. Like an electric blanket. The sun is way hotter than that even. That’s why when it gets far away it gets cold outside.

That’s also actually why winter is cold too. The sun rotates around the Earth. But in the winter the Earth tilts so that New York City is kind of further away from the sun. How does the Earth tilt? Well, imagine when you’re feeling a little tipsy and your head wants to floppity-flop from side to side. The Earth is like that in the winter. It’s a little sleepy and it just wants to lean over and take a nap for a few months.

I know that was exceedingly technical. I’ll try to keep things simpler next time. Forgive me, weather is just very exciting and I get carried away sometimes.

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